[ the absolute worst question Thancred could have asked, and of course he asks it.
when she died, who was Aerith to him? no one. a prey animal, maybe. a flower girl, a little pretty thing that Tseng and Hojo kept locked in the tower in hopes that she would guide them all to the promised land. he might not have kept her jailed but he was complicit in her imprisonment nonetheless. ]
[He doesn't say it wasn't your fault, because hells, it probably was. It was his fault, too. There are no conciliatory words, there's nothing that ever makes it better. It just is. The reality of whatever damned star or world or planet they find themselves on, that gives them a weapon and a will and an able body and makes none of it matter, makes it all the more bitter to live with when it chews up those girls and swallows their futures anyway.]
leaves you wondering what good you are, letting it happen as you did
[ and the thing is that Reno has never said this to another person before. the closest he's ever come is his quiet grumblings of malcontent to Rude: after Nibelheim, after the plate, after Cloud's visit to Healen Lodge. but even to Rude he could never say that he regrets any of it. ]
I don't know. I think I know what good I am.
[ tone is hard to read in text, but Reno's sure it reads as bitter as it feels to write. what good he is: none at all. tens of thousands of ghosts in his head, blood on his hands. ]
she was the closest thing to family i had for a long time
[It's strange, though. There's being burdened with guilt, there's being saturated in self-loathing — but then there's the way Reno answers. There's something — resigned about it, almost. I know what good I am. There's an undercurrent of emotion in a pronouncement like that, and it's not one of regret or of failure.
There's swallowing a painful reality like shards of glass, torn-up innards you never asked for. And then there's getting exactly what you deserve, and knowing it.
Leave some bruises on me again, he recalls distantly. And he wonders.]
twasn't even our own star she saved she gave her life to hold back a calamity taking place in a world she'd never seen she was the only one who could
[There's a pause here, just for a bit.]
she deserved so much more than the fate she chose but it was her choice
well, I was hoping you'd have the tact not to mention that to my face but I see I overestimated you
:'(
[ When In Doubt, Deflect With Humor ]
dye them... huh. on Gaia you can breed chocobos for almost any color but the easiest ones to find are yellow green and blue. you'll really only see the pink and red and black ones if you go to the races
the full name is the manderville gold saucer, aye spent a fair amount of time there in my idle moments
it's owned by godbert manderville, a man renowned for two particular things his world-class goldsmithing skills and his penchant for not wearing clothes while he does it
well that's close enough for monster toss i suppose
talk to godbert manderville long enough and you're certain to hear something about a wrestling technique or another that's been passed down through the manderville generations
he mostly uses them to piledrive his son into the dirt as i understand it
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when she died, who was Aerith to him? no one. a prey animal, maybe. a flower girl, a little pretty thing that Tseng and Hojo kept locked in the tower in hopes that she would guide them all to the promised land. he might not have kept her jailed but he was complicit in her imprisonment nonetheless. ]
someone I should have protected and didn't
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[He doesn't say it wasn't your fault, because hells, it probably was. It was his fault, too. There are no conciliatory words, there's nothing that ever makes it better. It just is. The reality of whatever damned star or world or planet they find themselves on, that gives them a weapon and a will and an able body and makes none of it matter, makes it all the more bitter to live with when it chews up those girls and swallows their futures anyway.]
leaves you wondering what good you are, letting it happen as you did
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I don't know. I think I know what good I am.
[ tone is hard to read in text, but Reno's sure it reads as bitter as it feels to write. what good he is: none at all. tens of thousands of ghosts in his head, blood on his hands. ]
sounds like you got a dead girl of your own
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[It's strange, though. There's being burdened with guilt, there's being saturated in self-loathing — but then there's the way Reno answers. There's something — resigned about it, almost. I know what good I am. There's an undercurrent of emotion in a pronouncement like that, and it's not one of regret or of failure.
There's swallowing a painful reality like shards of glass, torn-up innards you never asked for. And then there's getting exactly what you deserve, and knowing it.
Leave some bruises on me again, he recalls distantly. And he wonders.]
twasn't even our own star she saved
she gave her life to hold back a calamity taking place in a world she'd never seen
she was the only one who could
[There's a pause here, just for a bit.]
she deserved so much more than the fate she chose
but it was her choice
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[ Aerith gets along with nearly everyone, after all, and if she can get along with Reno she can get along with anybody.
against his better instincts Reno wants to say she was lucky to have you, but it seems overly familiar, and he decides against it. ]
think we should start a club? "Support Group for Sad Dudes with Dead Girls, Chocobos, and Bahamut etc."
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seems a bit revealing
but fortunately i know how to keep a secret
aye we have chocobos
yellow ones and black ones and red ones
some people even dye them for fashion
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:'(
[ When In Doubt, Deflect With Humor ]
dye them... huh. on Gaia you can breed chocobos for almost any color but the easiest ones to find are yellow green and blue. you'll really only see the pink and red and black ones if you go to the races
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you underestimated me the last time you saw me
so i suppose on the balance it all evens out ;)
the races?
we have those too
tis a main attraction at the gold saucer
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do you also have godbert manderville
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the full name is the manderville gold saucer, aye
spent a fair amount of time there in my idle moments
it's owned by godbert manderville, a man renowned for two particular things
his world-class goldsmithing skills and his penchant for not wearing clothes while he does it
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close enough for monster toss i suppose
talk to godbert manderville long enough and you're certain to hear something about a wrestling technique or another that's been passed down through the manderville generations
he mostly uses them to piledrive his son into the dirt as i understand it
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1/2
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