onlythans: (💔 i am through with this)
Thancred "thanzilla" Waters ([personal profile] onlythans) wrote2023-07-13 05:15 pm
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astraphilia: (when i was a man i thought it ended)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-14 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Reno draws in a breath, startled by the question. not because Thancred is off the mark, but because of how accurately he hit it, despite Reno's care to keep himself at a distance from the SOLDIER program.

there's a long pause before he says, ]
I was a candidate.

[ he'd gone through the whole battery of tests, beforehand, all the panels to make sure that he wasn't likely to liquefy from the inside out the first time they put the mako solution in his veins. all of the results had indicated that it would have taken.

after another long second: ]
The higher-ups thought about giving me the infusions even after I joined the Turks, but they changed their mind once they found out how fast I am. Too expensive to bother if I could hold my own with nothing but a good Haste spell and some thunder materia.

[ probably for the best, too. Reno's not sure what would have become of him after Genesis and Angeal took their leave of the organization and the Company decided they needed to clean up ranks. ]
astraphilia: (would always rule me)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-14 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
They are different, yeah. Not only because of Rufus.

[ Shinra junior, that is. Reno's quiet again, a thoughtful pause this time as he decides how best to summarize it all. ]

A lot of them deserted before the shit with Sephiroth even really kicked off, [ is what he eventually lands on to summarize everything that came before it—Genesis, Angeal, Zack Fair and the events leading up to his death.

of all the terrible things Reno has ever done, the only one he regrets close to as much as he regrets the plate is that he let Zack die. ]
And after Sephiroth, and Meteor, there weren't that many left anyway.

There are still some, sure. The ones who survived it all will probably be on ShinRa's payroll until they die. But the program is over, it fell when the Company did and Rufus seems pretty done with usin' the Lifestream for shit it shouldn't be used for.
astraphilia: (when i was 16 my senses fooled me)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-15 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
[ it's a pivot, and it makes Reno grin a little, audible in his tone when he answers. ]

I'm insubordinate. [ and he takes great pride in it, evidently! ] Nah—I call him "sir" in front of people, but... President Shinra was his daddy. Y'know?

[ so "Rufus" it is. just to differentiate him from the monster of a man who made him. ]
astraphilia: (and some would scream;)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-15 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
Y'know, I do believe it is.

[ this is much more event ground. while Reno doesn't exactly mind telling Thancred about his job, about the things ShinRa did, every story is one step closer to Thancred finding out the truth of who Reno is, and that's an inevitability he'd like to postpone for as long as possible. ]

You know something about it?
astraphilia: (don't you ever tame your demons)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-15 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ in a fairly decent imitation of Thancred's accent, ] Oh, what a hardship, hearing the sound of your voice.
astraphilia: (and some would scream;)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-16 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ post about it on the "reasons I'm hot for bae today" blog Thancred

Reno does recall both of these facts, from what he sort of fondly recalls as The Joyride Night—in the sense that Reno had happily ridden two separate joysticks. ]


I remember, yeah. I'm guessin' the grandson ain't exactly trying to follow in dear old dad's footsteps? Maybe he takes after your Louisoix in that way?
astraphilia: (would always rule me)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-17 07:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ the good of the many and the good of the few. Reno is too familiar with the calculations that go into the decision of how many dead is collateral damage, acceptable risk. those decisions are made by men at desks far away from the lives they'll end—they never have to look the condemned in the face before they die.

nor had Reno, not really. numbers on a screen. a body count on the news. the thought of it makes him nauseated. ]


Did he put a stop to it?
astraphilia: (i knew the scent was mine alone)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-17 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ there have been a few moments so far in which Reno has been made keenly aware of just how good Thancred is, how strong. how likely he is to throw himself into the line of fire for the sake of those who can't fight for themselves. maybe he doesn't see it, himself, but Reno does: the fierce warm glow of him, his determination and passion and desire to do what's right, no matter the cost.

illuminated from behind, light comes through the cracks. Reno thinks of that fragile moment on the gala dance floor, when he'd looked up into Thancred's face and felt the lure of temptation to crush this decliate thing growing between them before it had a chance to crush him first.

he should have done it. it would have been kinder. just the thought of how badly it will hurt Thancred to find out who, to find out what Reno really is (and he's under no delusions, here; Thancred will find out, eventually) aches enough that Reno has to pull the phone away from his face to exhale a sharp breath. he should have done it.

but Reno is selfish, and he cares about Thancred more than he knows how to put words to, so after no more than a second's pause he brings the phone back to his face and says, ]
So you went up into space to fight your Jenova before she had a chance to land?

[ his incredulity isn't false, either. what in the hells were they thinking? ]

That sounds like a suicide mission.
astraphilia: (when i was a man i thought it ended)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-18 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ even though Thancred doesn't mention it, Reno's thinking about it, about that sentence he'd read in Thancred's two truths and a lie post and how unbelievable he'd found it at the time. not so, any longer. now he has no trouble imagining Thancred letting himself die multiple times in the service of the greater good and, somehow, despite it all, finding his way back to life in the end.

for a moment they both fall quiet, just listening to each other breathe on the other end of the line. for all that it's just a moment of silence, it feels toe-curlingly intimate. Reno wishes he were there. ]


I'm glad you made it. [ is what he says eventually, a little more softly than he means to.

after another second, then, ]
I remember that, when I first mentioned the calamity. Do you think it's the same still?
astraphilia: (i knew the scent was mine alone)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-18 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ Reno's thoughts have drifted so far from the Northern Crater, to Jenova and the SOLDIER program and the collateral damage from the Sector 7 plate, that for a second Thancred's words—I know it wasn't an easy decision—stick like a knife in Reno's chest.

but he means the mission, doesn't he? the trip up north that left the Turks two men short and plus one alien head, the one where he'd taken the controls and pulled the bird up and assumed that the last he'd ever see of Tseng and Elena was their corpses on some cold foreign ground.

and that aches too, but in a different way, because it was an easy decision. when it was between the men and the mission, the mission always came first. ]


Fuck. [ Reno exhales a low curse at that. Jenova the calamity had been many things, but incapable of entering the Lifestream wasn't one of them. rather famously, in fact. ] How the fuck did you fight a creature that can obliterate people?
astraphilia: (when i knew love's perfect ache)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-18 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[ not very successfully, I suppose, says Thancred.

and Reno—he's a fool but he's not an idiot. he can read between those lines as clear as day, the implications of such a simple sentence: that they hadn't come out entirely unscathed after all. maybe it had been Thancred, even. he thinks about the casual, almost offhand way Thancred had mentioned dying twice. he thinks that Thancred would probably do it a third time if he were asked, if he thought it necessary.

the horror of it sinks its claws into Reno. he lifts a hand and covers his eyes and says, ]
Hey.

[ he says, ] What are you doing right now?

[ he says, ] Come over?

[ this the opposite of destruction, Reno thinks, but he really doesn't have it in him to do anything else. ]
astraphilia: (would always rule me)

[personal profile] astraphilia 2023-12-19 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ the silence stretches on just a little too long to be natural, and for a moment Reno almost thinks Thancred is going to say no. it almost wouldn't surprise him—it's a big ask, to take something like this and bring it here to Reno instead of walking the ticking time bomb out into the wilderness to reduce collateral damage. Reno braces himself to hear it, and to then be unusually graceful about the rejection.

but a rejection isn't what comes. it's not enthusiastic agreement—but it's still agreement, and Reno will take the wins where he can get them, considering. ]


I don't know what Thavnairian means, [ Reno says, still with his hand covering his eyes, ] but yeah, that sounds real good.

[ another brief pause, and then Reno drops his hand from his face and smiles wryly up at the ceiling. ]

Let yourself in.