[ it's in that small question that Reno understands exactly the magnitude of what's happened here. he has lived his entire life in this city afraid that one day it would come to this very revelation. Reno knew he was on borrowed time, that the fact of his monstrosity would inevitably come to light, but he had pushed that knowledge into a little box and locked it away, out of sight and out of mind so he could pretend to be normal.
but it's out there, now. Thancred saw it all. Thancred gave his life for Reno—his metaphorical life, maybe, but still his life—and what did Reno do in return? killed him. dropped the fucking Sector 7 plate on him and smashed him like a bug under the proverbial shoe. and still Thancred came back, right there at the end. still he put his hand to Reno's face and said I would rather love—
how can Reno live with himself knowing he's allowed Thancred to make this mistake?
he's not okay. he doesn't think he'll ever be okay again. but the idea of allowing Thancred to care feels like swallowing broken glass. Reno should have crushed this in his hands at the gala all those weeks ago, should never have allowed this beautiful fragile thing to bloom knowing that one day it would crash down around them. ]
no. I will be
[ he always is. he has no choice but to be. the luxury of not being okay is reserved for those who deserve love, who deserve gentleness and kindness and tenderness. Reno deserves none of those things. Reno doesn't even deserve to die.
after a very long pause he adds, ] I'm sorry.
[ he is very good at sweeping up the pieces. ]
be safe. take care of yourself
[ it's a big city. plenty of places to hide. Reno turns off his phone and bites down on his wrist to muffle the noise of anguish that wants to leave. ]
no subject
but it's out there, now. Thancred saw it all. Thancred gave his life for Reno—his metaphorical life, maybe, but still his life—and what did Reno do in return? killed him. dropped the fucking Sector 7 plate on him and smashed him like a bug under the proverbial shoe. and still Thancred came back, right there at the end. still he put his hand to Reno's face and said I would rather love—
how can Reno live with himself knowing he's allowed Thancred to make this mistake?
he's not okay. he doesn't think he'll ever be okay again. but the idea of allowing Thancred to care feels like swallowing broken glass. Reno should have crushed this in his hands at the gala all those weeks ago, should never have allowed this beautiful fragile thing to bloom knowing that one day it would crash down around them. ]
no. I will be
[ he always is. he has no choice but to be. the luxury of not being okay is reserved for those who deserve love, who deserve gentleness and kindness and tenderness. Reno deserves none of those things. Reno doesn't even deserve to die.
after a very long pause he adds, ] I'm sorry.
[ he is very good at sweeping up the pieces. ]
be safe. take care of yourself
[ it's a big city. plenty of places to hide. Reno turns off his phone and bites down on his wrist to muffle the noise of anguish that wants to leave. ]